Back to the Garden

So I was driving along the freeway in Los Angeles where I live, and amidst all the concrete I was thinking about lack. The lack of green around me. Then I noticed all the trees along the sides of the road and some huge Eucalyptus that I have always loved, came into view. I was thinking about my garden and how excited I was to plant it and also afraid because I have always thought I lacked a "green thumb." But I took the plunge and planted a garden last spring and was thrilled to watch it grow and produce food. I planted it with a lot of intention of becoming an urban farmer who grows and trades produce with her neighbors. But instead I found myself looking at the many bean and squash plants that never really made it, like a failure. I wasn't looking at the corn that had grown or the tomatoes that were exploding around me, I was just looking at the things that were dying or dead. (My attraction to morbidity follows me everywhere.) I was worried that the corn wasn't getting enough sun because the plants weren't tall. I had aphids.

Finally it dawned on me that all was well in the garden. A friend had drummed it into my head that "your garden is a reflection of you," and I realized that if I was fine, so was my garden. The point is to be with it, wherever it is. To be with the ones that are dying and to recognize that as part of learning and part of life. The feeling of something lacking disappeared as I decided to be grateful for the plants that are flourishing. But most of all to see it for what it is, to appreciate what it has taught me and to make changes accordingly. Plant the corn on the other side next year, and give the pumpkins more room, for instance. But mostly just be with what is. As long as there is growth, nothing is lacking. This morning for breakfast I had a bowl of tomatoes with basil from the garden. MMmmmmm! Thank you garden!!