A Recipe for Self Love

A cup of attention

A cup of gratitude

A cup of patience

A cup of affection

A cup of humor

A cup of humility

A cup of awareness

A cup of compassion

A cup of strength

A cup of perseverance

A cup of tenacity

A cup of discipline

A cup of reverence

A gallon of love

Start by pouring the cup of attention over your thoughts and beliefs. For instance, notice what you are thinking when cleaning the cat box. Is it: Why am I the only one who ever cleans the cat box? Or, Why do these damn cats have to make such a mess? Or, I should have gotten one of those self-cleaning boxes but I can’t afford it.

If you notice negative thoughts like these coming up during routine activities and chores, take a cup (or two if required) of gratitude and mix it with a cup of love and pour it over yourself until you find you are saying something like this: How I love to scoop the cat box. It feels so good to keep it nice and clean so my little lovelies have a comfortable place to relieve themselves.

Next, look at how you talk to your family, or others that you are close enough to that you don’t bother being polite all the time. Are you short tempered? Do you snap at your children or bark orders at your spouse? Get out your patience and mix it in a small bowl with affection and humor. Now you have a nice sauce for getting along. Next time you find you are losing your grip and nasty sounding words are just waiting behind your lips, take a deep breath, grab the sauce you just made and drink it up. Now do or say something funny and watch how cute they look when they smile and let any annoyance or irritation you had slip away. Take another cup of love and spill it all over the floor in front of them and while your wiping it up, think of all the qualities you love about them.

After this step, preheat your heart. Get it slightly warmer than normal. Keep it nice and warm as we look in the mirror at how you see yourself. Do you feel 100% satisfied with your work or whatever you are doing with your life? Do you criticize your efforts on a daily basis as sub-par or never good enough? Could it be that these attitudes are covering up an alternative view under the surface that you are the greatest thing to ever walk the earth? Is there a tiny piece of you that thinks you really should be a billionaire by now or that your picture ought to be on the cover of time magazine instead of Michelle Obama’s? This is where humility comes in. You need to be careful with this ingredient as it can be a little tricky to work with. Sprinkle it over yourself each morning. Just a light sprinkling and then more throughout the day each time you find you are underselling yourself or thinking you are much more talented than the person next to you who just got a big grant for their work researching carpenter bees. Sprinkle it and say, I am no better or worse than anyone else. I am just perfect and complete in myself.

Next look at your body. What gives you trouble? Do you have a stiff neck? Poor eyesight? Back trouble? Warts? Constipation? Get out your compassion and stir it up with an equal part of love and apply it liberally to each area that bothers you. The trick here is to love any parts of yourself that you have long cursed, neglected or worked hard to “fix.” This step is not about fixing you, it is about accepting you as you are, bumps and all. Then as you are applying the love and compassion mixture, ask your body part what it needs or wants. Listen carefully. Then pour on more love and compassion.

Now that you’re about halfway through this recipe, it’s going to get a little harder. The parts of yourself that are determined to keep you down and only dipping your big toe in the bath of self-love are going to start fighting for their survival. It is time to get out your strength, perseverance and tenacity. You will need all three. Keep them separate but close together, applying the correct ingredient in the right moment. Are those nasty words trying to get out of your mouth and attack the ones you love again? Pull out some strength and add it to the mixture of patience affection and humor described above. Having trouble at work believing in your abilities to do the best job possible? Get out perseverance and apply it to any mistakes or missteps or even blunders you have made and remember you must take risks and be willing to fail to get anywhere in this life. Are the warts still bothering you? Wondering if they will ever go away? Are you giving in to voices that tell you there is something wrong with you? A fatal flaw perhaps? Tenacity is your secret ingredient. Use it to combat these voices, remember that they are your teachers and keep at least a quart of love on hand to pour over the trouble spots in weak moments.

You are almost home. The key to keeping all this love flowing in all areas of life is discipline. Use your discipline whenever you slip or even after you’ve fallen back into the old habits of negative thinking for long periods. You can always get back on that horse. All it takes is a little discipline. Take at least a cup of it every morning when you wake up.

The icing on this cake is reverence. To revere yourself and all of life is to be truly and fully in love with yourself and your life and the moment you are in. Use it liberally and enjoy the results.

Congratulations! You are now in love with yourself. Lucky you!