Something Amazing

A few weeks ago Grace was in my studio, asking if she could have one of my feathers. I said yes and she picked up the parrot feather which is slightly green. I told her she would have to choose a different one. "That's the only parrot feather I have and it was a gift from your father." She was immediately fixated on it and none of the other feathers would do. She was disappointed with her second choice of an iridescent turkey feather. I told her that if she really wanted a parrot feather all she had to do was ask. “Ask who?” she wanted to know. “The parrots, or the sky, or the sun or the moon! “ I said. “Whoever you want to ask!” So she did. I think she asked them all.

The other day we had a conversation I had been dreading. It was after we read a story in which an older brother tells his younger sibling that their parents are the real Santa Claus. I saw Grace’s face drop and I asked her if she wanted to talk about Santa Claus. “I just want to know the truth” she said and I could see she was holding back a lot of feelings. I took a deep breath and said something like this:

Yes it's true that we put the presents under the tree and fill the stockings up. But the great thing about Santa Claus has nothing to with whether he is real or not. He represents a child’s ability to believe in things like a fat man who squeezes down your chimney and lives forever and manages to travel around the world in one night behind flying deer delivering presents to every single child. Or a rabbit who does the same sort of thing. Or a fairy who knows every time you lose a tooth. It’s all about magic, and in a lot of ways, kids are closer to magic than adults are. But magic does exist. I experience it all the time. It’s more subtle than a bunch of presents under a tree. It’s like trusting a feeling you have that things happen just at the right time because someone’s looking out for you.

She accepted my explanation and added that it was fun to watch her little sister believe anything Grace told her and we laughed. She admitted she felt disappointed but said she was also relieved to know the truth, because her suspicions about it had been bugging her for a while.

Yesterday she found two pretty gray feathers on our front lawn. She was delighted when I told her they belonged to a mourning dove. “I love mourning doves!” she squealed. And then she said, “I am glad they gave me a feather. I really wanted a parrot feather but I am happy with my mourning dove feathers anyway.”

Today we went to an outdoor concert in the park and she came running up to me with a huge smile on her face and a beautiful green feather in her fingers. Much more colorful than mine, it has several different shades of green in it. “You were right Mama! All I had to do was ask!”

Tonight when I put her to bed she said, “I am so glad I found that feather and that you weren’t lying to me.” “About what?” “About magic. It really does exist.”